If you dance anything like you touch, you might have to carry me back to the bar…

Ethan Grant's Slice of Life from the Dancing Pony

The Dancing Pony pickup line of the week is….


A young man named Rick came in the Dancing Pony this weekend with his companion, a seeing eye dog.

He always sits at the bar. And the dog, Ginger, is responsive to his needs and never barks or causes any problems.

The only challenge we have is keeping the ladies away from Ginger. She’s a beautiful golden lab and friendly but it’s not good to distract a working dog so we have to be careful and watch out for our friend.

Anyway Rick was sitting at the bar having a beer while talking to one of the bartenders. He seemed a little low for some reason and was explaining his woes to the bartender when a young lady came over and sat next to him.

She noticed Ginger and spoke in a sweet tone.

“Hey there, gorgeous.”

The bartender greeted the lady and said, “Please don’t play with Ginger, ma’am. She’s on duty and it’s not good to pet or distract her.”

The lady looked at Rick, nodded in understanding, and said, “Well, I hope that doesn’t apply to the owner because I’d rather distract him than the dog. I’d like to get to know you better before any petting or playing happens, though.”

Rick turned to her, a little embarrassed and said, “I’m sorry. These guys are always looking out for me.”

The bartender leaned in to Rick and said,

“I think your ‘woes’ are about to be ‘wows’, brother. She’s beautiful. I’m not exaggerating. I’ll leave you to it.”

Rick turned to her and said, “My name is Rick.”

“I’m Felicia. I just moved to Divine a couple of months ago from Crystal City. My employer needed me to relocate, so here I am. What about you? How long have you lived here?”

“I was born and raised in Divine, actually. I love this town, even though I’ve never seen it.”

Felicia giggled, and then hesitated. “Oh, gosh, I hope that was a joke.”

Rick laughed and said, “Yeah, my feeble attempt at humor. You’re one of the few people that has ever actually laughed, though. Maybe I should work on my delivery.”

Felicia studied his face for a moment and said, “I think your delivery was just fine. I hope you don’t mind me asking, but does that mean you were born blind or was it something that happened later?”

Rick said, “No, I was born this way. There were complications when I was born. I won’t bore you with details.”

The two talked for a while and then Felicia asked,

“Would you dance with me?”

Rick gulped the last of his beer and then rubbed his jaw. Finally he said, “I don’t know how. I’ve never danced with anyone, except my mom when I was really little and stood on her feet.”

Felicia slipped out of her chair, mindful of ginger’s presence, and took both of his hands in hers. “Good, then you will have to stay close so I can guide you.”

“O-O-Okay,” Rick stuttered, and then said, “But I want you to let me do something when we’re done, if I haven’t broken any of your toes.”

Felicia giggled and said, “What do you have in mind, big guy?”

“Will you allow me to look at you—with my hands, I mean? I know it makes some people uncomfor—”

Before he could finish explaining, Felicia lifted his hands and placed his palms on her cheeks. “I hope you’re not disappointed. I’m no Miss America.”

He ran his fingertips lightly over her face and down her throat, taking his time, and when she didn’t retreat he stroked up to her nape and slid his fingers upward into her hair. She smiled hesitantly, as if bracing for his reaction, but encouraged him by stroking his biceps.

“Wow,” Rick said as he slid his hands over her shoulders. He smiled broadly and shook his head as if he was gathering his wits. “You’re really beautiful. Thank you for allowing me to do that. Now I can see you in my mind’s eye.”

He grinned even wider, as if he liked what he was “seeing.”

Flushed and slightly out of breath, Felicia said, “Are you kidding? That was intense. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until I nearly fainted.”

Then Rick stood from his chair and slipped his hand into hers. “Think you can handle me on the dance floor while Ginger takes a break?”

Felicia looked down at their joined hands and said,

“Honey, if you dance anything like you touch, you might have to carry me back to the bar.”

They danced several times that night and Ginger didn’t seem to mind. I think that’s the first time in memory that I’ve called the cab company and cancelled a cab ride home.


She’s got a temper to go along with that red hair of hers…


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