A big cowboy was at the Dancing Pony one evening. I mean BIG. So big that his friends nicknamed him Ox. In addition to being big, Ox is also funny. What the guy may lack in male-fitness-model good looks, he makes up for with self-confidence and a great sense of humor.
He was with his buddies that evening and they were having a fun and noisy time as usual when he set eyes on a very pretty, very curvy brunette named Liz who’d just come in with a group of friends to celebrate the end of the work week.
Ox observed the way Liz sang along with all the songs, and that she bobbed in place at the bar with her friends, as if she wanted to dance, but no one had asked her yet.
Never one to let an opportunity pass him by, Ox strolled up to Liz and said, “Sweet, voluptuous angel, would you care to dance with me?”
Now, being married to a sweet, voluptuous blonde angel, I readily noticed the flicker of defensiveness in her eyes as she blinked at him, as if wondering if he was making fun of her curviness.
She put a hand on her hip as she looked Ox up and down. “I think that beer belly would get in the way, don’t you?”
Without missing a beat, Ox patted his mid-section as if he was displaying washboard abs. “Sweet angel, don’t let appearances deceive you. This isn’t a beer belly, it’s a fuel tank for my sex machine, and right now it’s sittin’ on ‘full.’”
By the time everybody stopped laughing, we were pleasantly surprised to see Ox and Liz dancing together.
Looks are a great thing to have but they fade, where a heart of gold and a sense of humor last forever.
Note from Heather: I hope y’all are enjoying the Slices of Life from the Dancing Pony. I have to say, I identified with Liz and this pickup line, only I wished that I’d encountered a man like Ox. We’ve all been there, I suppose, and not all men have as much “snap” as Ox did, in asking his curvy beauty to dance when she was trying to hide that she was afraid he was making fun of her. I know he was big, and funny, and self-confident, but at his core, I think his greatest asset was kindness.
You know I value a snappy pickup line if you’ve read the Divine Creek Ranch Collection, so tell me about the pickup lines you’ve heard. We’ve all heard the cringe-worthy ones but have you ever heard one that either struck you right in the funny bone, or one that strummed the chords of your heart? Tell me about it in a comment. 😀
Seize the day, baby!
All material copyright ©Heather Rainier 2015
PS: Thanks to all the readers who have contacted me with compliments about Bunny and the Beast. Thanks to wonderful readers like y’all, Bunny and Joseph’s story has been very successful, and I hope continues to be when it reaches Amazon. Thanks also for telling your friends about the series.