The Dancing Pony pickup line of the week is….
There were a couple of ladies sitting at the bar
discussing their work week when three cowboys, who’d obviously been having a good time somewhere else, came into the Pony. They were laughing at something as they sat down near our ladies at the bar.
It turns out that one of the cowboys was telling jokes and some of them were actually funny. He asked the bartender if he would like to hear a New York echo.
The bartender played along and said sure, so the cowboy called out,
“Helllooooooo”……..Shut the fuck up!”
Everybody laughed. The ladies seemed mildly amused but didn’t say anything.
The comedic cowboy excused himself to go to the bathroom, stopped, walked over to one of the ladies and said, “Darlin, I’m a dying man and my doctor has only given me one week to live.
My dying wish is to dance with the most beautiful woman in the world.
I can’t believe my luck that you showed up here tonight. Would you do me the honor of dancing with me?”
The lady paused for a minute, her friend gave her a very cynical look, then she smiled and said, “Okay, cowboy. Since there’s no long-term commitment, I guess so.” With that she hopped up and went to the dance floor with him. They danced a couple of songs and she seemed to have a good time.
When she came back to her seat, her friend said, “What the hell was that? A pity dance?”
The lady said, “He made me laugh. And I don’t remember the last time someone called me beautiful.” She paused to laugh and then said,
“Besides, he is a dying man.”
Her friend looked disgusted and said, “Well, if he wasn’t drunk, and you put him in some decent clothes, he might be presentable.” The lady shrugged and seemed unperturbed by her friend’s obvious attitude.
After the couple had danced several more times, the cowboy came over to where the ladies sat, took off his hat, and said, “My lady, I’ll have to say goodnight to you. My party has informed me that they’re moving on with or without me and so I must leave. However, if I’m alive tomorrow–and sober–I’d very much like to call you. You see, I lied about one thing. I’m not dying. But I do think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world and would be honored if you’d take my call.”
The lady blushed and said, “Well, sugar, you didn’t have to lie. I think that’d be great. Here’s my number.” She wrote it on a napkin and he gently folded it and put it in his wallet. He thanked her and said goodnight.
Then the lady’s friend said “Okay, dances I can go along with because he did seem like a good dancer.
But you can’t be serious about going out with that guy.”
The lady said, “Okay, let’s look at the facts.” She held up her hand and began ticking off her fingers. “He makes me laugh. He’s a good dancer. He’s cute. He’s obviously not broke since he paid our tab for us. Plus, he was gentleman enough to not expect a one-nighter for paying said tab, and he asked for permission call me sometime.
I think your standards might be a little too high, girlfriend.”
The friend got that look on her face that people get when they know you’re right but don’t want to admit it, and then she finally gave a good-natured laugh, and said, “Oh….shut the fuck up!”
I’ve seen a lot of things happen in this bar, and probably heard most of the pickup lines out there. But regardless of who you are, what you look like, what you say or who you say it to, you must have confidence.