The Dancing Pony pickup line of the week is….
A couple of cowgirls were sitting at the bar talking about tractors.
I know what you’re thinking but this is common around here, so bear with me. One of the ladies, a redhead, who happens to be mechanically inclined, was explaining some trouble she was having with her John Deere.
Her friend, a brunette, who was obviously glazing over from the topic of conversation, finally said,
“Girl, you seriously need a man, because I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
The redhead said, “That’s another problem. All the men I meet are really just looking for someone to cook for them, clean up after them, do their laundry, and play housewife. I can’t stand that stuff and I hate cooking. I need someone who doesn’t mind working a ranch alongside me instead of expecting me to serve their every need.”
All the while, these two cowboys sitting just down the bar were listening in.
One said to the other, “Did you hear that Jake? She’s pretty, with all that red hair. You’re a diesel mechanic. Go introduce yourself to her.”
Jake grinned and said, “Sounds like she’s got a temper to go along with that red hair of hers.”
He didn’t seem all that deterred by the redhead’s temperament.
After some prodding from his buddy, Jake walked over to the two cowgirls and said, “Excuse me, but I couldn’t help but overhear your troubles, ma’am. I’m a mechanic and it sounds to me like you have fuel line problems, maybe a pinched line or a clogged filter, or the like. If you want, I can look at it for you.”
The redhead looked him up and down, and in a sarcastic tone, she replied, “I don’t need your help, cowboy. I—”
Just then she got an elbow in the ribs from her friend, who said, “Hey, give the guy a chance before you go snapping his head off. He might actually be able to help, so put your independence aside for a minute and talk to him. And he’s cute.”
In a voice loud enough for him to hear, the redhead replied, “I know these macho types. I’ll just bet he’d like to impress me with his mechanical know-how.
All men like him really want is some pretty, little thing to cook and clean for him….Or to get laid.”
Undeterred, Jake leaned in close to her and said, “Pretty lady, I was being neighborly. I wasn’t planning to propose. I’m already a good cook. And I have a maid who comes in regularly and cleans for me. And while getting laid will work, I prefer making slow, sweet love. If you’d still like help with your tractor, I’d be happy to look at it. Here’s my card.” He put the card in front of her and she stared at it like a calf looking at a new gate, embarrassment turning her cheeks bright pink.
As Jake walked back to his seat, the brunette gaped at her friend. “What the hell is wrong with you? I know you’re all about being your own woman but get over yourself. He’s sexy as hell and he truly wanted to help you.
No wonder you’re running a ranch all by yourself.”
Looking deflated, the redhead said, “Look, I’m sorry. Maybe I could call him tomorrow and give him a chance at the tractor. I am kind of stuck.” She glanced over at him for a second and it was clear that the tractor was the last thing on her mind.
Her friend said, “I’ll do you one better.” She rummaged around in her purse, pulled out a notepad, and scribbled something on it. Then she got up and went over to the cowboy and gave him the note, chatted amiably with him and his friend for a minute, and then came back.
With the blush still in her cheeks, the redhead said “What was that all about? Are you trying to set me up?”
Her friend said, “YOU? Hell no, Miss Independent Ranch Woman. I need a man!” Then her friend winked and said, “I’m just kidding.
He said he’ll be at your place tomorrow morning at 8:00
to look at the tractor…and whatever else you want ‘fixed’.”
The redhead spewed her beer as laughter erupted between them.
No more was said between the pairs that night but Jake must’ve been one hell of a “mechanic” because he and the redhead came in together the next night and had a great time.
©Heather Rainier 2017
Author’s Note: Hope you enjoyed this Pickup Line from the Dancing Pony. It was originally published on Facebook in 2014. Periodically I’ll be posting more of the old pickup lines for new and old readers alike to enjoy.